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The Art of Showing Up for Yourself

“Can I still do it?” “What if I am not good at it anymore?” “What if I fail?” “What would others think of me?” “I would fall flat on my face if I can’t do it as well as before.”

Starting from scratch is hard, but picking up where you left off is another feat on its own. Sure, there are preconceived notions when starting anything, but there’s another insurmountable challenge that we must overcome when picking up where we left off—self-doubt.

These thoughts would haunt me whenever I get back on track with the joys of my life—yoga, traveling, writing, etc. They are supposed to bring me joy, but how come doing them feels hard at times? I get so in my head and forget my “Why.” I am so focused on the “How” that I lost sight of how joyful doing these things are.

I forgot the goofy and sheepish grin I gave myself whenever I couldn’t do some yoga pose, write a personal anecdote, or get lost in a new country. The incredible feeling of doing the things that I initially thought I couldn’t do is incomparable.

So how do I pick up from where I left off and do the joyful things in life? I show up.

What does showing up mean? For me, it’s getting over my head and actually doing things. No buts, no ifs. But what about those self-defeating thoughts? I recognize them and answer them with “So what?” “So what if I am not good at it anymore?” “So what if I fail?” “So what if people think differently?”

I learned that people are also so wrapped up with their own “what ifs” that they don’t really think a lot about whether you’re not good at some things as before or if you’re a beginner again.

Here are ways that helped me show up for myself:

1.) Reflect on your needs

Take the time to genuinely assess your emotional, mental, and physical needs. This means identifying what makes you feel happy, fulfilled, and energized, as well as recognizing the things that drain or stress you. Check in with yourself to ensure that you’re keeping your needs in focus. Acknowledging my needs allows me to be kinder to myself and take more accountability in what I do. Do I really need yoga? Yes, it clears my head, strengthens me, improves my posture, and takes me home. Should I really write? Yes, it encourages my creativity. The things that I h

2.) Prioritize self-care

Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for maintaining our overall well-being. Develop a self-care routine that caters to your unique needs, whether it’s exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time with loved ones. Remember that taking care of yourself is a form of showing up for yourself. These activities I procrastinate doing are essentially a form of self-care. The more I delay doing them, the more I deny myself the care that I need.

3)Set boundaries

Learn to say no when necessary and set boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. This can include limiting your exposure to anxious relationships, managing your workload, or carving out personal time for relaxation and reflection. Communicate your boundaries with others to ensure they respect your needs. It was initially hard to cut off time-wasting activities, as they can be very addicting. Scrolling mindlessly on the phone can be a day’s worth of activity. I uninstalled some of the apps that were zapping my time and set alarms to remind me to do my activities.

4) Practice self-compassion

Be kind to yourself, especially during difficult times. Acknowledge your emotions, accept imperfections, and offer yourself the same understanding and support that you would give to a friend. Remember that self-compassion is an essential aspect of showing up for yourself. Being kinder to myself brought back the feeling of joy, eagerness, and accountability. Sure, I couldn't hold some yoga poses as long as before, and I still get nervous walking around unfamiliar places, but at the end of the day, I tried. And that's what matters.

5) Start now

There’s no better time than now to continue what you have started. I’ve seen an Instagram reel from @coachsamwatson that resonated well with me: “You never get to start over because all of your progress counts. Everything you’ve ever done has grown you into the person that you are today. No one or nothing can take away who you are. Despite the pain, despite the fear, you’ve pushed and you’ve survived. It’s impossible to undo all the work that you’ve done. Keep growing.“ It speaks volumes and reminded me to just show up and take the steps to progress however wobbly and scary those steps are.

6) Focus on the small steps

Looking at the things I need to catch up on and putting pressure on myself to be as good as I was before have made me stuck even more. I learned and am still learning to accept my current self, such as not as physically active or mentally creative before. Beating myself didn’t help me move forward with my goals. I had to re-shift my perspective and focus on the small steps. One day at a time, so they say. One more breath, one more sentence, one more alley – until little by little, I felt like my old self again. The nostalgic feeling of joy took me home. At some time, I was rushing to get back to my old groove, but it only took me steps away from my progress. I learned to be patient.

The bottom line

It’s okay to take a break and pause when you need to. The scary and doubtful feeling of starting again can be overwhelming. By embracing the art of showing up for yourself, you prioritize your well-being, cultivate self-confidence, and empower yourself to live a more fulfilling life. Remember that you deserve to be your own best friend and advocate, so take the time to nurture your needs and invest in your happiness.